Tell Me Why
by eternallydaydreaming
Summary: To this day Leo is still haunted by visions of that fateful night that forever changed his life. Written for the tumblr tmnt flashfic theme: hauntings.


A/N: Written for the TMNT flashfic theme, Hauntings, on Tumblr. This fic takes place after the TMNT series when the characters are adults now. This is inspired by a fic idea I have thought about writing but I got enough projects as it is. Enjoy!

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Tell Me Why

"I'm starting to regret agreeing to the top floor apartment."

Sweat beaded on his forehead and trickled steadily down his cheek, collecting at the base of his chin until it grew heavy causing it to splash onto his plastron. The heavy plastic bags cut deep into the grooves of his fingers and in the crook of his elbows but they really needed the groceries. Karai had requested that he finally bring home food after he concluded the nightly patrol. Having waited a couple of days for Karai to overcome her illness it was clear Leonardo had to take up the responsibility as she remained curled up in fetal position on the couch, too overcome by nausea to get the chore done herself. In emergencies like this one, he considered himself most fortunate for the human friends in his life to purchase items from his grocery list though he was still tasked with carrying the goods home. Not such an easy chore for a mutant ninja forced to keep to the shadows and mostly traveled by rooftop. Over time he had rigged beams to walk over so he would not be forced to jump from building to building all the time; however, it did not save him from the burden of the heavy loads.

Leonardo released a relieved sighed as he walked the final beam and stepped firmly onto the rooftop of his apartment building. He struggled to open the door of the rooftop access but finally was able to descend the staircase down to his floor.

"Finally," he muttered while trying to blink sweat out of his eye.

Leonardo walked down the hallway but as he drew closer to his door something felt off. His gait slowed as he spied the thin beam of light peeking through his doorway. Approaching closer he realized the door was slightly ajar. He instantly dropped the bags and unsheathed his sword. Keeping his back to the wall, he sidestepped closer. Once at the doorway, he slipped a portion of his blade into the gape and surveyed the surrounding through the reflection. While he could not see a single person, the disarray of books and décor strewn about the room was more than just concerning. Leonardo burst into the apartment prepared to confront his attacker. As he rushed in his foot skidded on wet surface and he landed hard on his carapace. Propping onto his forearm, Leonardo turned and inspected the floor. The color was odd yet familiar – a deep dark red. The strong metallic scent clued him in on the identity of the mystery substance.

 _Blood_ …

Panic washed over him!

"Karai?!"

Leonardo leapt back to his feet nearly falling a second time. He followed the bloody path past the living room until he found himself right outside the bedroom. The door was left slightly open, just like the front door, but the light was off. Trembling legs led him to the entrance. Grasping his katana with both hands, Leonardo used his elbow to nudge the door. A creak emanated from the hinges as the dark room welcomed Leonardo. Only dim streetlights streamed in through the window, casting eerie shadows along the wall. Turning the corner he glimpsed a figure and instantly raised his blade but then hesitated. The silhouette was feminine and unmoving, unthreatened by his presence. She leaned against the wall with her head facing down at the floor before her.

"Karai?" he whispered so not to startle her though the concern was evident in his voice. "Are you ok? There was so much blood in the living room. You're not hurt, are you?"

Silence. Perhaps she was in shock. What could have possibly of transpired while he was away?

Leonardo held up his pointer finger and flicked the light switch on. Blue eyes widened at the sight before him as the world around him suddenly halted. His fingers loosened their grip, allowing the katana to clatter to the floor. His breathing hitched as he mentally absorbed the gross amount of blood coating the floor, walls, and bed. Approaching the figure he finally realized that she was not leaning against the wall; she was pinned onto it almost in the fashion of the ancient Roman crucifixion. Karai's black hair covered her face as she stared distantly at the ground under her. Leo's gaze trailed down until he locked sight on the hole in her abdomen. A blade had most certainly penetrated through her body then twisted 180 degrees before being withdrawn. The blood drenched her pants and continued to drip into the large puddle below her. He reached out with one hand and cupped her cold cheek. Stepping closer he listened carefully but no puffs of air escaped her lips, no gentle heaving of her chest.

"No," the quaking whisper left his lips. "This…this can't…can't be happening."

Tears streaked down his face as he tried to embrace the love of his life…the woman unceremoniously pinned to the wall, nearly disemboweled.

"You're right. It shouldn't have happened," a female voice responded.

Blinking back the tears Leonardo did not dare to move.

"You should have been home, Leonardo."

The angry, resentful tone froze him in place. His breaths grew shallow as his heart raced. Pulling back he locked gaze on a lifeless pair of eyes staring back. Blood stained lips unleashed a barrage of accusations.

"Where were you, Leonardo? Why weren't you here?" Karai's head lunged forward with each accusation as if trying to reach him despite still tacked firmly to the wall. "You should have been here to protect me. To protect our unborn child. Why weren't you here? Why?!"

"Aaah!"

Leonardo shot up in bed, covered in cold sweat. Holding a hand over his plastron, he felt his heart racing as he gasped for his breath. The blanket lightly rustled next to him as the dainty woman shifted position. Leonardo held his breath as if the slightest sound would wake her up. Pausing for a few moments he waited for her to settle back into deep sleep before slipping of bed and trudged to his meditation room. After entering his sanctuary he turned off to the side, grabbed the handles of the double doors, and opened the closet, revealing a series of shelfs containing a small shrine surrounded by incense holders, various offerings, and at the center, Karai's picture. Leonardo stared at the picture as scenes from his nightmare flashed through his mind. Tears burned his eyes as he recalled that fateful day. He was forced to leave her body behind, called the authorities to the apartment, and then later had Donnie hack the police computers just to learn the medical examiner had determined that she was in her first trimester. The description of the blade used in the attack was consistent with Shredder's tiger claws. The man who had raised her as his own ultimately took her life just as he had with her mother. Tears were about to trickle down until he heard the door slam behind him.

"Daddy?"

Leonardo whirled around to find a sleepy disheveled girl by the door. The little girl rubbed her eye furiously. Golden locks fell into her face, partially concealing her scaly pale green skin.

"Sakura, why are you up?" Concern etched into Leonardo's features. It wasn't like his daughter to be up in the middle of the night.

"Had a nightmare," she whined slightly as she approached him.

Leonardo opened his arm, inviting her to cuddle. "Want to talk about it?"

Sakura snuggled up under Leonardo's arm. "I was being chased by a monster. He was scary. With razors in his hands. He was going to hurt me but then I woke up."

Leonardo's voice caught in his throat at the description. "Why would the monster want to hurt my little flower? You're always so kind and caring. I can't think of anyone who would want to do you harm."

"Because I'm Hamato. Shredder hurts anyone who's Hamato."

Sapphire eyes narrowed suspiciously at the statement. Leonardo had never spoke of Shredder to his daughter.

"What do you know of Shredder?" he prodded not so subtly.

"He's the reason Aunt Miwa is dead."

"And who told you that?"

The prolonged silence and lip biting was all the answer he needed.

"Is there a reason Uncle Raphael told you about Aunt Miwa's death?"

Sakura shrugged slightly, not out of indifference but more out of discomfort.

"I didn't understand why you didn't want me to learn ninjutsu," she started. "I was talking to Uncle Raphael about it and he explained that you just wanted to keep me safe and that ninjtsu was why Aunt Miwa died."

"It's…It's more complicated than that, but yes I do want you to stay safe. I don't ever want you to go out on patrol and carry the responsibility of keeping the city…the world safe. I want you to grow up and have fun like a child is supposed to. Aunt Miwa didn't get to have a normal life. She was a ninja her whole life. And when she finally tried to have a normal life, her past alway caught up to her. There was no escape from it."

"That's so sad," Sakura whispered solemnly. She then shifted out of Leonardo's embrace and positioned herself in front of the shrine. Pressing her hands together she began reciting traditional Japanese prayers to honor the deceased family member and then proceeded to pray for her relatives to be protected whenever conducting their ninja duties. As fluent Japanese rolled off her tongue, Leonardo watched her with pride and slight amusement at how this little blonde girl clung so strongly to her surrogate Japanese heritage, much like how her father did. Then his eyes softened as Karai's picture stared back at him.

 _How could I ever put Sakura into that kind of position? To pass the burden on her of being a savior for humanity? To walk through life forever haunted by the ghosts of the past? Tell me how._

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A/N: The fic in general is inspired by the song "Tell Me Why" by Within Temptation especially by the chorus portion:

"Tell me why am I still here when it's all gone.

I'm living with the ghosts of yesterday.

Tell me why am I still trying to hold on.

I've got to tear it down to let it go."


End file.
